Five reasons why I almost passed out while watching my first surgery, and a rebuttal by interested parties

#1 It was way too hot in that operating room. Anybody would have felt faint in that heat. Sure the patient was shivering, but she was in surgery. She was losing blood. The rest of us, those of us with all of our blood, we were way too hot.

You only lasted about fifteen seconds into the surgery. By the time you were squatting in the corner, all they’d done is nicked her skin. You lose more blood every time you shave.

#2 And I’m always cold after I shave. Plus, I was wearing one of those gowns. And two pairs of gloves. And these absurd space boots up to my knees. And a face mask with a plastic shield that covered my eyes. It was sweltering under there. As soon as the surgeon made the first cut, that whole shield fogged right up and I couldn’t see. That’s hardly my fault. Those things are a liability.

Those things? The sterile surgical masks? Those are a liability? Were the other folks in the room wearing the same masks?

#3 Of course they were, don’t be ridiculous. That doesn’t mean it’s a good idea that they were wearing them. I mean, what if all of those masked folks overheated and passed out? What then? You have an anesthetized patient lying on a table with unconscious surgeons and nurses splayed out on the floor all around her.

Did everyone else wearing a mask pass out, too?

No, but can you imagine if they did? It’s like that episode of Gray’s Anatomy, when that patient was taking some sort of herbal supplement, and it combined with the drugs in her body and made her blood toxic and it almost killed all of the surgeons at Seattle Grace. It’s like that.

…you should never be allowed in an operating room ever again.

#4 I know, I know. Nobody actually passed out. And most of the surgeons and nurses in the room made it through the whole procedure. BUT! the scrub tech felt nauseous, and she ran out of the room to throw up.

What? Really? Was she overheated? Did her face shield fog up?

#4 No, she wasn’t wearing a face shield. But she said she’d had fried fish for lunch, and SO DID I. I'm not denying that fish and chips is a terrific meal, but probably too heavy for this particular occasion. I ate it way too quickly and didn’t drink anything with it. So I was dehydrated with a stomach full of fish batter.

So you’re saying that the reason you felt squeamish is because of the fish you ate for lunch?

#5 Yeah, mostly. And because cutting people open is disgusting.